Notes to My Kids… Or Mindset Work.


Most mornings, my kids will find a note from me: thoughts, questions, and challenges. 

How did this start? Why did this start? When do you find the time to write these? How do you come up with these? 

Because I post many of these to my Instagram account, I get a lot of these questions so here you go:

How and Why Did This Start?

Honestly, it started from my failure as a father. Because I was not seeing my children in the morning and then at times not at all, I was not engaging in the meaningful conversations with them that I value. As a morning person and someone that thinks the entire time of the day is set within 60 minutes of rising, I became frustrated with myself as a father.

Like all things that disturb me, I go to work on them. I tried a few things that failed miserably: calling each morning, kissing them goodbye, and so forth.

But then a former student contacted me about how he was using two things from my time as an English teacher: BOHA and StoryLab. He, of course, has made them considerably better and more meaningful but he also sparked in me that, “duh… Why am I not doing this with my children.”

When do you find the time to write these? 

I write these all the time

  1. when the thoughts of my children emerge. The story in my head is often most readily connected with pieces that need to be cultivated. These tend to be reflective.
  2. when doing light cardio at the gym. My head is often clear and focused so I can be concise. These tend to be rather intense!
  3. when reading books and articles. These tend to be deep and inquisitive.
  4. and often at random times. These tend to be emotional.

In other words, I write a lot and on any random scrap of paper or phone app. I don’t tend to edit or revise; I keep it raw. 

How do you come up with these?

Experiences and my daily work on cultivating a better me. These are deeply personal and deeply raw, but I am wanting my children to be comfortable with chaos, emotions, growth, and vulnerability. This is a way to model.

Some might say they are too young or not cognitively ready. I’d argue this is the perfect time and example upon example shows me this mindset work is growing them in deeply profound ways.

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *